The Land of "I Hate My Job But it Pays the Bills"

I am flabbergasted (I love that word!) by the number of people who are bound by the purported security of realism. Time and time again, I am involved in conversations infused with “I have to be realistic.”

Apparently, I am the fortunate one…or some would assert “the blindly optimistic one”. I was raised in a house where I was told that I could be whatever I wanted as long as I put my mind to it. I never realized the power in those words until I started working with clients who had never heard them.

Many times the convictions of realism come after the demise of a business or loss of a job as the buffer to what truly is has just been ripped out from under them.

The Illusion

I sit across from visibly shaken clients as this unintentional self-defeatist perspective consumes them. Secretly inside, the curves of my smile form from the understanding that the security that was sought after through their career was truly only an illusion and despite the spotlighted evidence glaring in front of them, they still want to go there – scrambling to feel some sense of stability and assurance.

It impels me to probe, “What did you want to be when you grew up?”

This query alone has forged eye rolls, perplexity, and even anger as the person across from me thinks I am wasting their time. I remain seated, blissfully aware of the powerful information that is about to materialize as my client instinctively works from the ground up - first, spilling their childhood fantasy of being a dancer, a sports star, or woman on the moon, then slowly imploring a more seasoned dream as growth allowed for a better understanding of the world and self, and finally moving quickly into where their path went astray and grounded them in the land of “I hate my job, but it pays the bills.”

The Diamond Exposed

Fear, typically, is the underlying driver of the original shift in paths, whether it is organically theirs’ or lofted onto them by others, but that is irrelevant at this point. The diamond that has been exposed is the understanding that the things we grasp to that elude a false sense of security are purely that…false.

Now we are getting somewhere, I think to myself. And we move to exploring the truth of what is real. That the only true security we hold lies in our own abilities. Our ability to learn, to adapt, to persevere, to dream, to know our value, to understand our worth, to execute, to think, and to be the best that we can be, but most importantly to align with who we are so that we can bring value to the world and reach our peak performance with the operative word being “our” - in other words, not “theirs.”

It is in aligning with our authentic self that true success is imminent because it is success as we have defined it, not as “they” have defined it.

How Did I Get Here?

As the realization of a path once lost fades, the thought of “How did I get here?” is now displayed on my clients’ faces as though David Byrne’s lyrics are swirling in their heads (or should I say Talking Heads for those of you that understood the David Byrne reference?).

And I remind them of this…

Finding your dream isn’t about reckless abandon in the face of blind optimism, it is about having a broader vision of what realism is.

“Now breathe,” I say. “You got this!”

If you are in the land of "I hate my job, but it pays the bills?" then click here to explore why. This will also give me more insight so I can up my game and be able to more effectively help you live a life you love! Remember...you are already living a life. Now let's make it yours.

Are You Ready to Be Hired? Take These 5 Steps to Get There

According to the Q2 2014 LinkedIn Economic Confidence Outlook Survey business leaders expect a global rise in hiring. Some predict a significant increase of as much as 7%.

As an opportunist, my question to you is “Are you ready for this influx of opportunity?”

You many think of opportunity as a haphazard event that flies by offering you to jump on and ride only if you are lucky. The reality is that more times than not, opportunity presents itself because you have done the work to be ready first which, in turn, attracts the opportunity.

Taking the time to shift from aimlessly scrambling to find a job by swimming through the sea of job descriptions to attracting quality opportunities based on an intentionally focused career exploration, may seem difficult. The reality is however, that making this shift can mean the difference between hours, days or months of frustratingly lackluster results and a streamlined process ending in launching an important part of the life you want to love…your career.

The quickest way to see results is through intentional self-discovery, mindfully seeking the right fit, and authentically presenting you to the world.

Start by getting clear on what you want from life. When looking for a career it helps to know what is important to you in life first. A job is really just a tool that significantly impacts your lifestyle. So, focus on what lifestyle you want first. Think in terms of time, life experiences, personal growth, health, family, relationships, leisure and finances. Remember to focus on all aspects so you don’t have to give up one for the other. When you clarify your definition of what a good life is you can start moving towards that all-encompassing vision.

Once you have your vision, follow these steps…

1. Know what value you want to bring to the world – Human nature is to thrive through fulfillment by bringing value to the world. Now that you know what you want from the world through exploring your vision, focus on what you want to give the world.

2. Combine your hard assets and your soft assets– Take the time to understand the technical skill set and knowledge you have and combine that with the “magic” that you bring, your passions, what is uniquely yours that differentiates you from others and your creativity. Once you understand both sides of who you are, you can intentionally move towards finding a great fit for you.

3. Align your resume and LinkedIn profile to reflect who you are – Words are powerful. Images are potent. It can be difficult compiling words about yourself to truly reflect who you are. Often, people are caught reflecting what they have done, but not who they are. Use your LinkedIn profile and all its tools to showcase the picture of you through images, links, blogs, and videos.

4. Go shopping – Confidence is attractive. Doing the work before hand to get clear on what you want from life and where you fit allows you to shift your mindset from hoping to get hired to shopping for a career that aligns with who you are. With that subtle shift, you will bring more confidence with you. It is similar to shopping for a car. Usually you have done the research to explore what you want before you actually go to the sales floor to buy. You know the details of the car, why you want it, how it fits with your lifestyle, and how you will feel once you have it. You are confident that it is a good fit for you. Now apply that same methodology to your career search and identify the specific opportunities that are right for you.

5. Get the job – You have done the work to know where you want to be and why you should be there. Now is the time to focus your energy onto the few opportunities that you have defined as a good fit. Narrowing your focus to a select few may seem counter-intuitive. After all, if you send out more resumes, you should eventually land a job somewhere. Right? You could do that and hope that someone stumbles upon your resume and just happens to see how brilliant you are or you can intentionally go after a career that is a great fit.

I work with people who want to love what they do and are willing to go after it despite their fears. This is my career because I did the work to find the perfect fit for me. 

Know who you are so you can love what you do!

Career Curveballs: Jumping Ship for Someone Else’s Dream

My career curveball came by way of a gigantic shift away from my true self and sent me reeling until I found my way back to what I know to be my purpose in life, which is the same as your purpose - to be 100% fully ME, or in your case, YOU, in the world.

How I shifted away from my true self was simple. I jumped off my ship onto another ship headed towards someone else’s dream and thought I could make it work for both of us. It didn’t.

Prior to my love-blind decision to navigate a different channel, I had approached my first real job that had any significance in the world with undying dedication to the leadership role I played.  As Manager of People Growth - aka Mom - I successfully honed, implemented and trained the skills of active listening, interpersonal relationship building, talent-planning processes, strong interpersonal discourse, performance management, teamwork skills, and strategies for growth.

I was lead influencer and my approach to this role as a coach rather than dictator came naturally to me as I created a culture that allowed for the team members’ individual creativity, strengths, personalities and passions to guide them to peak performance and continued success while maintaining a cohesive team culture.  

As there are no procedure manuals, training programs, leadership development workshops, 360-degree feedback performance evaluations or merit raises in the organization called family, I learned my coaching skills through trial and error, observation, self-awareness and research of the best influencing methods for humanity and success. Basically it was a crapshoot for the first 25 years as I formulated my coaching program until I could see the results through those I influenced as they became successful independent contributing members of society…and I still have my fingers crossed.

But, I loved my job and despite my doubts while I was in it, it turns out that I was really good at it.  

I also coached sports teams because of my need to get my fix in seeing others shine. It was what I did.  I coached. And the more others reached their peak performance, the more I knew I was reaching mine and I was happy.

Then there was a curveball. An opportunity to open a small business presented itself via a conversation, a little research, some collaboration and someone else’s dream. It seemed perfect. This new career had found me. I loved the product. I had the skill. It was basically being handed to me on a silver platter. Besides, I would only stay in it for a few years to get it up and running, then the person whose dream it was, could take over and I would pursue my own dreams.

Or so I thought.

The thing was I knew that I didn’t want this career, but I thought the opportunity was too good to pass up so I jumped - with both feet - but I missed the lifeboat and landed in the swirling sea.

I opened the business in 2007. We all know what happened to the economy during the next few years and as much as I would love to blame the recession on our doors closing, I can say with 100% certainty that the economy was only part of our business’s demise. The true underlying virus that led to our death was that I thought I could live someone else’s dream but I couldn’t.

Once I came to my senses and realized I was miserable and underperforming, I dove into a quest to find success, fulfillment and abundance in life. Through an incredible exploratory journey, I landed right where I had started only in a different capacity. This time, I had the official title of Certified Life Coach.

My path was right in front of me the whole time. Lighting up my heart whenever someone I had influenced experienced success. Not the big success as defined by society, but the small successes that build up to the big success. The ones that put a smile on your face because you know you did something that challenged you, but it felt so easy to push through, even though it was so hard, because what drove you was the love of where you were going and what you were experiencing.

It was the journey that you chose, the path that you defined, the life that you carved from leading with your heart.

It was that kind of success. And as much as I knew I loved helping others achieve it, I finally realized that I had it too.   

Have you taken the time to intentionally navigate your journey to get to where you can truly shine? I would love to hear your stories! Let's inspire each other! 

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How Cool Would It Be?

Living life your way isn’t about pissing people off, upending your life, or being selfish. It is about making choices that align with who you are in order to lead a fulfilling life.  When we live a fulfilling life, it does two things…it allows those around you to learn based on your example and it makes you engaged, alive and overflowing with joy. How cool would it be if everyone were engaged, alive and overflowing with joy…or at least peacefully content?

Leading a fulfilling life starts with YOU, so remember…

Life is like a puzzle and we are each a critical piece of the puzzle as we are. We can pretend to be shaped like a different piece, but then we won’t fit into the big picture of life as we are meant to be.

Assuming your choice will negatively impact those around you is presumptuous. Could it be that maybe your choice will allow them permission to make a better choice for themselves?

We make choices based on two basic human emotions ~ Love and Fear. Know which one is guiding your decisions!

Everyone around you also has the ability and right to make choices based on who they are. 

Trust in yourself because YOU are the only one who knows what is right for you.

Explore. The more you put yourself out there, the more you grow into…

Life YOUR Way!

Smile! Play! Love! Laugh! Enjoy! Dance! Sing! Feel! Seek! Experience!